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Why Black Single Mothers Should Accept That They Are Meant To Be “Second Best” —

Yesterday my Boaz was speaking to one of his longtime friends over the phone, and she told him that she has recently started dating a married man. She is an older Ghanaian single mother in her mid 50’s. She’s very successful in both the UK and in Ghana, she works with Presidents, Mayors and Governers […]

Why Black Single Mothers Should Accept That They Are Meant To Be “Second Best” —

In this article the writer is talking about a friend of hers who’s very wealthy and that is a single mother. The mother is not only a single mother but is a single woman of color. She writes about the well-to-do , single mother of color accepting her fate as a single mom and one who is second best, to having true love in her life, from that of a decent man of color. She would be considered second best, Because she’s older, single and with a child.

She also writes about the portrayal of a famous women of color over the age of 35 who end up with that picture perfect marriage. However sadly, that picture perfect marriage is not the true representation, of a woman of color who is a single mother, the writer goes on to say. The writer says, how many of these famous women over the age of 35 who are women of color are not the true image of a woman of color. These women are like Eva from top model, who is not a true women of color. She is the image and portrayal of the woman of color that you see in most television shows. That fairytale family, most women of color are idolizing, is a brown fair skin, light eyes, long straight hair and or short straight hair women.

This writer is not right about the new progressive era of the modern-day single mother of color. Especially, one who is raising a family on her own. She does not have to be a Christian nor does she have to believe in herself to be second choice or to be a concubine to some other woman’s husband. Nor does she have to flaunt herself about, because maybe she has money or maybe because she has a nice body and maybe because she also has a nice face. The single, Black mother of one does not have to fall into the statistics of being an angry black woman who only wants sex and throws herself out there to be used by men. No, the mother can be graceful in her own skin, in her own community and be comfortable with her situation in life. The single mother does not have to be selfish, and think about being tied to another women’s relationship. She would rather focus on living the life of her own for herself and the child (ren) she is raising.

The writer should rather ask a question as to why there are so many single black mothers raising children alone. Opinion-based…. may very well be based on unwed mothers having children out of wedlock during slavery. Then many men of color may have been pulled out of the homes to do work. Therefore, leaving the woman of color to the slave owner(s) and or other field workers. The African American male had to get out and work for his family and the family structure and nuclear family was never secured.

When you leave a women of color home alone to fend for her children during the times of slavery moving into the settlement homes era, and the social movement era one will see there were no good attitudes shed among the single, women of color. While the Black man was nowhere around, because he was away from home working. Young boys became a product of they’re environment. Learning from what they saw. Other men being away from home, while the mother’s stay home or work and provide for the child or children. Then the cycle continued.

Most women of color do not go around accepting the fate to be a mistress, a concubine or second best whether she has it all together or is middle class. Most do not live in the past of their ancestors either. Many pick up and move with the feminist and progressive era and knows she can be accepted in anyway she chooses to put herself out there and she can do anything she chooses to increase her wealth, love and happiness in her life. Hence, the women of color didn’t make a family by herself or was it by choice?

Published by Alexandria Mackell

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